Selfish

Selfish.
Its built in with every person.

From birth, i am born selfish. All i care was what i want. I want milk, I will cry and my parents will come rushing to my aid.
When i score poorly, i will quickly point my fingers to the exam papers or the lecturers. One of the last few reason i will gave is myself. 
My interest comes first when I am finding a job. If I got myself a job that i dun really like, i will either struggle everyday to work or dun really perform well for the tasks given to me.

Can you find similarity with these statements that i experience? If so, welcome to the selfish family. Haha.

To be plain honest, it is simplest to be selfish, because it is so natural that it was not take a lot of effort out of a person. And there is lots of self-justification to selfishness. One of the more common ones is "If i can't even take care of my own self, how can i even take care of others?"

So selfishness is very easy, common and everywhere. There is no denial about this.
BUT even in the midst of all such selfishness, it remains a choice.

What do i mean by a choice?

We are given a mind to control what we want to do. So in every decision; the decision to be selfish, the decision to be selfless, the decision to do what is easy, the decision to do what is right; we have the choice to choose what to do. Hence, if is about convincing ourself that doing what is selfless and doing what is right, is after all worth the struggle, worth the effort.

I like to share my opinion.
When one person choose to be selfish, doors will remain to be close. But when one person choose to be selfless, many doors will have the choice to be open.
What are these doors?
There represent the hearts of people. When we choose to be selfless, it will first give a shock to that person and after which, the person will be curious why we choose to be selfless. Doors are open and conversation starts.

We are on this for a short 80 - 100 years as compared to the many years of human history. To be selfish enough to make sure people knows you even 1000 of years later could be a tough selfless act. Take for example Jesus, His act on the cross, still is opening up doors even til today.

Is taking the step of selfless simple?
No, of course not.

But if you feel that you dun just want to spend your short time here on earth, maybe you can try to be a bit selfless and see how many doors will be open to you.

I remember a trustworthy saying. "When you change, Everything Changes"
So be that change you want to see.

Haha. Have a great weekend. GBU.

take it like a man

Today i feel totally bad.
Everything seems not going the way it should be.
Resources go to waste just like that.
Never to recover back.
Tired, hungry and sad.
Then i started question myself, what mess did i got myself into? Can't i just be selfish and dun care?

To top things off, the sky decided to rain and allow me to drench in the rain.

I could not believe it.
Its like you are been abandon and everything seems worthless.

Then i was reminded about a facebook post i have eariler this morning.

It reads something like this.

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

God: Hello… Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No, who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time. Life has become very hectic. It’s rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well. I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer. With that experience, their life becomes better, not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every term. Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can’t we be free from problems?

God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly, in the midst of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading.

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside you awaken. Eyes provide sight, heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough time, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessings, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God: When they suffer they ask, “Why me?” When they prosper, they never ask. “Why me?” Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, “Who am I? Why am I here?” I can’t get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don’t believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve.

-Anonymous-

Well, even though i cannot agree to all of that is mention, somehow, there is this small tickle that sort of keep reminding me: "Hey son, am I like that? Do you think given My character, I will leave you or forsake You?"

Sometimes we are quick to anger and slow to pray. It should be the other way round, quick to prayer and slow to anger. So even now, i am praying to God:" God, teach me something from this episode that is of value. Because i trust that You allow me to go through this for my benefit. That is Your Character. I may not know what You will do for me, but i do know You. So Lord, have freedom to teach me through Your Way Lord."

I guess you can say that i am taking it up, like a man, belonging to Him. :)
Have a great week ahead, whoever that read this post. 

Even though the healing doesn't come

I came across a song from klove about this singer sing about "even though the healing doesn't come" and it is basically about the Job experience. Well, in modern society, man hardly do things without expecting return.
One of the thing you aim to do well in studies, so that you can get a good paying job and a easier life later (not always easier life though). Some work, so that they have enough money to go by the days. Some are for more worthy cause like spreading the gospel and coaching under privilege children so that they have a future just to name a few. Yet some can be as simple as satisfaction like the point of crossing the 42 km mark in a full marathon.
We all expect some form of thing in return.
So what about God? Does He expect some form of return?

I believe so.

I believe that God doesn't just send His Son Jesus to die on the cross and see no people returning to Him. That is the kind of "returns" that i believe God expect from us. So when we believe in God and return to Him, we close the "deal" and that's the end of the story, or at least that is what theoretically should be.

The problem with some of us is that we believe in Jesus because He can do miracles and bless us. Well, He can do all these good works but if our salvation is on the blessing tht God can do, then i thought it will be very shallow which easily fall away in times of trials. Instead, our salvation should be based on what He has already done on the cross, that is to allow us to be reconcile with God through the forgiveness of sin based on the cricification on the cross and raising up again on the 3rd day.

Now if we based our salvation on the latter, even though the healing doesn't come, we can still hold on to Him for His presence. Do you get what i am saying?

I enjoy what i heard from my leader sometime back. He mention in the days of Jesus, meal time is meant to be very relational and extended. Typically, during that time, under that culture, if someone invite you for a meal, it means that he really wants to build relationship with you and spend time with you. So when the bible mention about the meal time, it shows that spending time with God and how precious God's presence is to a believer lives, not the present God can give.

In our current context, how much time you spend on having quality time with the people around you, and with God. Make a count. If you are not spending enough time with God, can i challenge you to spare a thought for God and spend the extra minute with Him? If you have not been spending enough time with His people, can i challenge you to remember that the only reason why we are still on earth, is because the gospel has not reach its maximum protential yet.

Ultimately, i pray that you will believe God not on the miracles He can do, but what God's Son Jesus has already done and the promise that He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Have a great weekend ahead!

Copy cat

I tend to like to describe myself like a copycat. Definitely not because i copy in examination or what but because i tend to adopt a lot f feature of my past leaders.
Call it highly receptive to influence or what, when i learn more from a particular leader, i tend to behaviour around the same as that particular leader. For example there were one time my direct leader is highly dominating. Those that know me will understand that i am actually not really a high D kind of person but rather high C. So somehow, because of my frequent interactions with the high D person, i start to be really dominating in expecting work done. It appears nothing wrong at first but when my high D and high C comes together in the same picture, not many people can tahan it. But honestly speaking, i have a lot of fun then.
Then when i was with another leader, i again adopted his art of cold jokes and there was a season i will purposely introduce cold jokes. Not as successful as i am not at that level yet, but this just go to show how easy i can pick up things.

Now, why do i share these? Well, since one of my trademark is the ability to trace the positive point of others, i tend to use it for my spiritual life as well.
"What did that person do to experience God in this way"
"How long did he persevere in order to see break through in his life"

So far, i have seen some slight success in my life through copying what others do. But i also know that God has made every life special, and their experience unique. There could be similarity, but it will not be totally the same.

To me, the hardest to "copy" is Jesus. I mean, in my current state, how to i even come close to copy Him? I am not talking about His power but the way He lives His life. But one thing i do know is that as i radically turn my ways towards Him, someday, i too can reflect of what Jesus will look like to others.

Looking forward to that day that i can "copy" Jesus.

Hope you have a nice day ahead!

Faithfulness

Unlike many, i dun have a lot of dramatic ups and dramatic downs. Everything feels smooth with minimum turbulence. From Primary school, enter the last primary 3 class but graduate at the 1st Primary 6 class. At Secondary school did well enough to go to Poly and eventually to University. Even in University, not the 1st Class material but can maintain at a 3rd class also not too bad.

Looking back, it feels smooth enough and i thank God for letting me experience that way. Even though my academic was smooth enough, my spiritual wasn't as smooth. Got my many downs and my occasional ups. Sometimes running away from God, little times back to God. In seasons and occasional thoughts, i even thought about giving up this faith, but somehow, it remains a thought with no further action. So, sometimes, i do ask God, why do i feel so negative this way.

God never really given any answer but i believe He knows that i will find the answer. In fact, i start to believe that until now, God has been faithful to me despite my unfaithfulness to Him. Even though i have ran away from Him affecting my spiritual walk with Him, somehow, He always manage to make sure my academics are more than acceptable.

He is NOT a God that ties a string to a kite controlling the movement of His people and those He loves.
He is NOT a God that watch a person to die without any action.
He is NOT just a God that has a fix place whereby He can be found.

To me, God Himself is actively giving chances, merciful yet holy and holding true to whatever He said. He do as He pleases and gave the same freedom for people to follow Him or not. He allows man to make their mistakes and even record them down in His Word - the Bible, in hope that people of the current generation will not make the same mistakes. Morever, He always made known His promises so that everyone may be encouraged when the time is challenging. And, did i mention that He is so good, that He is but a prayer away?

Everytime, when i say the word from my very bottom of my heart, "Dear Heavenly Father,..." , i will always feel Him replying "Yes? my son,..."

So ya, i pray that someday somehow, God will touch you as well and you will know why God send His Son Jesus Christ to Earth. May you be overwhelmed by His faithfulness, today.

Angry start

Wake up to a email that sort of destroy my morning mood to complete my assignment and term paper. But i will figure out somehow to complete.

haiz.

Anyway, i was thinking about certain people have certain gifts. Some of such gifts are physical like more talented in sports, some are more social like able to be a good listener, some are more spiritual like more sensitivity to what God is saying, some more practical like good at adminstration.

Yes, indeed, everyone has a talent of their own, it is just a matter whether you feel that it is prominent or not. But not only whether you make it prominent or not, the next step of using these talents matters as well.

If you are talent in sports but plays no sports, than it is empty gifts bring about no fruits. If you are a good listener but never spend time hearing out to those who needs a ear, then it is empty again. If you are sensitive to what God is saying but do not spread His Words to those that needs to know it, it is empty again.

There must be a reason why you are given that talent and it becomes your responsibility to make full use of that talent to do what? to touch lives around you.

This is because when you start to touch lifes with your talents, then you will find out why you are even given that talent.

Think you dun have any talent? Well, perhaps ability to read and understand such a blog post is already a good talent to begin touching lifes with, because you will be surprise at the number of people that could not read or understand english.

So what are you waiting for? Its Tuesday, still quite long to weekends, go out there and do some good things with your talents, today.

A New Week

By now, i am totally convinced that my Post Title has nothing to do with my posts. But man, i actually can't quite believe that actually blogging about my faith will actually be so interesting but lets see how far my discipline can go, knowing my examinations is just cross the 18 day countdown mark.

I actually dun quite know what to share about, but i thought i want to share about why i choose to follow Jesus.
Well, prior to my initial acceptance of Jesus in my life, actually i was very rejecting of the faith. In fact, i can remember 3 evangelist attempting to share Christ with me, but was shut off by me. I guess that time, i see the obstacles bigger than Christ. It is only during the Poly years that one of my ex cell leader really shown genuine interest in my life and all. He spends tons of time with me, some of the times as cover up to do work with the club, but well, i dun really mind. That was the time i was saying to myself that "Hey, i really want to be just like him" and i remember vividly he will always share about his struggles and his testimony for me which sort of really make me believe that Christ is real.

Bless. Fellowship. Meet Felt Needs. Proclaim the Gospel.

These are the principles from Luke 10, which i thought is like a good way of sharing God. But it must be done in sequence which happens to be key in order for it to be successful.

Well, a new week is up ahead. Lots of catch up to be done. But i guess i can trust that it will all be fine. Because the God that i serve will be with me, through the every situations, every seasons. 

More than a silent prompting

Wow, yesterday sermon happens to talk about the same verse that was mention yesterday post, James 1:2-4. Sometimes, God do things in ways we cannot even be close to second guess or similar. One thing that caught me how Pastor keep reminding us to take pleasure in suffering.
From a long time ago, i often mention to my cell group about me going hardship but there will be season i will wane about it and there will be episode i actually take it up like a man.
But the service sort of blow my mind quite a fair bit when Pastor talks about if God dun exist, we should be pitied among all man.

1 Corinthians 15:19 (NIV) 
If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

Basically, Paul is trying to say, if God exist for this life only and there is no eternity with God, we as Christians are to be pitied most among all other people. To a certain sense, if there is no God after this life, Paul would have live it differently. This is unlike a lot of religion that even if there is no eternity, some people believe that it is okay because they have a good life. 

This is radically different what many believes.
Believe in Jesus and you will gain good life? NO
Believe in Jesus and you eternal life but there is no guarantee that you will have a good life.

This life is not eternal. The world is fallen like it or not. Go on and make a list of how many stuff no longer followed what God says in His Word and it will not be hard to find many items. 

So if you are suffering just because you believe in Jesus. Please know that you are much blessed than someone who enjoy all the riches and success but never found God. In suffering, that is where God is too because He promise us that He will never leave us or forsake us and during our suffering is when we need God the most. There is always where God will be faithful to uphold His promise.

For me, life is a bit smooth here and there. I feel that i have not totally step out of my comfort zone. God. If you read blog as well, when you find me worthy of suffering for Your Name, please go ahead and have freedom. but also comfort me please and surround me with Your presence... i am not a fan of pain and suffering.

 

Saturday

What am i doing in school on a saturday? I ask myself over and over again.
But i know that if i dun, then probably this beautiful Saturday will pass by just like that, not constructive at all. So i am still quite please of myself for able to drop by school at this hour, at this day.
Well, how i spend my Saturdays for the past 3 years has always been BB related. Once in a while when i have that kind of break, i will be like very happy about it. Because finally can sleep later.
But this season, i am taking a break from BB to focus on clearing the Assignments before diving into revision for examinations. So i do have mix feelings about this break.
Anyway, i feel so encourage that 3 of my Boys are taking their Stage 3 Assessments today. I know that they have poured in much effort into it, so i am absolutely certain that they will do well. But like an anxious parent, i subconscious or conscious still meet them one last time just before they hop on the bus to their assessment site.
Our life on this planet is a test like it or not. Right from the moment we are born, even as babies, we are constantly tested. When we are born, there is a blood pressure test; during schooling days, there are examinations; at work there will be performance review; Before you can drive, there will still be a test.
Besides tests, there are trials too.
Temptations to do what is not right, and not doing what is right.
Trials like lost of love ones, like heavily persecuted at work.
Certainly, we dun exactly like tests, trials and temptations. But hear me out, they are important.

Only during tests, trials and temptations are your character revealed, refined and realigned.
We always say that we will worship Jesus in the good and the bad. But it takes a person to really be in the bad times yet be able to worship Jesus that really is befitting of declaring that way.
Through season of tests, trials and temptations may our character be refine in a manner gotten rid of all unrighteous, so that we becomes more and more like Jesus.
And certainly, i know God well enough to know that every season of tests, trials and temptations that God's presence will be there with that person. So after every such season, the person will come out of it, alive, and realigned towards God's direction.

This also why James 1:2-4 (NIV) says these about Trials.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Hence, next time in such season, put on a big smile and tell God this: "Bring it on. But please be with me, Jesus." 

Haha, enjoy your weekends!

Again

This week is pretty long for me, starts waking up at 6am, sleep at around 12 midnight. Most of the night time, i was just online trying to watch my favourite anime to de-stress a bit, but i guess that it really isn't the time to do that. But nonetheless, i thank God for substaining me until now.

I have been listening to K-Love for quite some time now. Subconciously, when i am really sick of myself doing wrong to God again, some of those songs in K-Love replayed in my mind. I wonder why i thought of that song and being a engineer-to-be myself, rationalising is my immediate reaction. Then as i thought deeper, what is God's immediate reaction towards us, his "unfaithful" subjects?

Well the scripture tells us of many times He have shown grace and mercy, countless times He redrew His wrath towards us, only to see His people rebel against Him. With my human understanding, if I was god, i would probably destory everything. But thank God i am not Him. He is patient with us and His immediate reaction or shall i say main reaction is Love. Though we may have love the world more than Him many times, He still choose the path of Love and send His Son down to save. Honestly speaking, without the righteous that God gave us through His Son, what rights do we have to go to God?

So if we have no rights to go to God, do we have any rights to deter God into our lifes? I am speaking to those we feels that they do not deserve God in their lifes (which sometimes i feel that way too).
What rights do we have to say that "God, i dun deserve Your Love because of this..."
Is the stuff that make us undeserving greater that God's Love?

Today entry is a simple one.
Again, you may have fail Him.
Again, you may find yourself unworthy.
But Again, God is worthy.
And Again, God's Love will never fail.

Have a great weekend guys, whoever that stumbled into this blog.

1 letter that makes all the difference

mmm, its exactly 22 days to my birthday and 23 days to the start of my last nov/dec examination that i am encountering in uni life.
i recall that if i can just use a few mins per day to blog down what i feel about God or experiences relating to God, would it not be nice?
So hopefully this can be a daily kind of entry, ya, lets make some commitment to it.

Today, i came to school earlier than normal thanks to 179A which i dun normally take. As such, when i pass the same corridor to my school's study area, i came across a group of different people. Then, God reminded me something about if the same people is actually there in school but just that you meet them at different time which gives you the impression that its a different person all together. It sort of just like God, who choose to "appear" at different times, sometimes as a challenging team mate, sometimes as a bus that appears promptly to bring you home fast and even sometimes as a long wait for something to happen. All these, if you allow, can be used by God or shall i say will be use by God for your benefit and my benefit.

A simple reminder than was enforce when i tuned in to klove.com and then a song about "Praise You in the Storm"
Youtube video

Yes, i am waiting for a answer and perhaps some direction from God. But yes, i also know that God will surely bring me to a place and a situation that will benefit me and not to harm me. But regardless of everything, i hope i continue to learn about how precious is the presence of God rather than the gifts of God.